As I was saying (or speaking, if you prefer)...

Ah-hem. Since you last heard from me, I've been attending a French accent reduction class, but so far, no luck. I steeel have zee slightest, how shall we say, French, huh-huh, accent. I believe I contracted it while I was still in the PD (philosophy department). La Professora loved la francaise so much that it was hard to resist mimicking her a leetle bit, and then it became, how you say, (h)abit-forming. So now La Chat Mimi must take zee steps drastique to become more Americaine. It is dreadfully importante. If I do not master zee English post haste, I might be mistaken for zee dreaded alien chat and whisked away to who knows where. Alors! Merde!